Coyefeesh vs Mario: A Super Smash Bros FanFic
by garguybbj
Summary: It all begins when Mario calls Coyefeesh weird. Randomness pursues. Meta Knight gets drunk on root beer. Yoshi eats Bowser times. Goombas are absolutely useless. Can you handle the stoopidity? Based on the (not) famous comic, which has been viewed worldwide over 5.000 times! More characters in future updates. C. Falcon: Why am I not in this Fic? Me: Stop stealing screentime!
1. Chapter 1

**Coyefeesh vs Mario**

**Author's Notes:** Hello people of the FanFiction world! This is my very first fic, so please, chill with the flames and suggestions are highly appreciated. Don't expect fast updates, because I'm busy with school _and_ an extra class. I beg of you people to be patient for updates. Enjoy and review!

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**_Chapter 1: Stoopidity Starts_**

* * *

_One day, in a mundane world…_

A middle-aged Italian man was waking up after regaining consciousness. He had on blue overalls, covering his red shirt, indicating that he was a plumber. Above his carefully combed mustache was a fairly large nose, making him seem intimidating and chubby. However, a friendly twinkle in his blue eyes balanced the prejudice. He wiped off the sweat on his forehead with a white gloved hand, and adjusted his bright red cap with an "M" on it. He looked around, noticing that the place was unfamiliar. He decided to walk around to explore a bit. Suddenly, he stopped.

Mario Mario was completely puzzled as to why there was a random person standing in front of him. However, this was not a regular person. This was a fish-headed person.

"You are weird," Mario randomly said to the fish-headed guy.

This fish-headed person was indeed weird, to say the least. He had the average legs, torso, and upper body of a regular human, but above that was, in fact, a fish head. Mario could not identify the type of fish, though it looked like a trout with a tuna face. The person's head was turned to the side, as if it was eternally stuck there. Little did Mario know that this fish-headed person was tired of being called weird, and this was the absolute last straw. All of the rage that the fish-headed person was containing exploded upon Mario.

"WHAT?!" screamed the fish-headed guy, AKA Coyefeesh. "This is WAR!"

Coyefeesh followed his ranting with a kick in the gut. The kick connected hardly, and Mario gasped in pain, but stood back up. Mario glared at Coyefeesh. Then he smirked.

"Time to use my secret weapon!" exclaimed Mario. He took off his hat, despite there being another one underneath it. He pointed his hat at Coyefeesh and shot four and a half bullets. Coyefeesh embraced himself for the pain, but looked unfazed after being shot. "Huh," said Mario. "Stoopid video game world effects that make projectiles super weak."

"What?" Coyefeesh asked confused.

"Um, nothing, just-HA!" Mario yelled as he unleashed a gigantic fireball from his hands.

Coyefeesh simply put out the fire by spitting at it.

Mario looked bewildered. Then he thought of a plan. "You know what they always say, fight fire with fire, or in this case, fight water with water!" Mario randomly stated his plan and shot a steam of water with his F.L.U.D.D., enough to water 2 whole plants.

Coyefeesh just stood there, expecting the water to be harmless, but to his surprise, the water knocked him back several feet, and damaged him. "Owch… wait, how did I get damaged by water?"

"Ha," Mario said. "This is video game water, which defies the laws of real life. Water can destroy, fire can't be put out, and people can be frozen in a block of ice."

"But I put out your fire…" Coyefeesh trailed off.

"Shut up!" Mario said as he charged at Coyefeesh with a Bob-omb that he randomly took from his back.

The Bob-omb exploded.

…

Mario was knocked out on the ground with comical swirls in his eyes. Seeing this, Coyefeesh handcuffed him and sent him to jail.

"Mama mia! Luigi and Yoshi will avenge me, you hear? They will avenge me!"

_Somewhere over the rainbow…_

Another middle-aged Italian man was startled by visions of his brother being defeated by a fish-headed person. This man was taller than Mario, yet he seemed younger. He also had on blue overalls, but instead of a red shirt, he had on a green one. He had the same large nose as his brother, but his mustache was a different style. Perhaps the most noticeable difference was that this man wore a green hat with an "L" embedded on it. This man's name was Luigi Mario.

"Mario has failed to destroy the weird fish-headed guy. We must team up with Bowser and Kuppa!" Luigi said to no one in particular.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi agreed.

The Yoshi were a race of tyrannosaurus-like creatures who reside on a place simply known as Yoshi's Island. Despite each one of them being a different color, they all have similar qualities, such as the tiny red shell on their backs, the three red scales on the back of their heads, and their large appetite. This one in particular was green.

Luigi found a white flag and carried it to Bowser's castle. Seeing that Luigi was surrendering, Bowser's minions took him to see their king.

"What do you want?" asked Bowser.

"Mario was defeated by a weird fish-headed guy and sent to jail!" Luigi nervously explained. He had a major phobia of Bowser, which was understandable. Bowser was a humongous mutated carnivorous turtle. This turtle loved spikes. He had a spike on each side of his head (with red hair in between), ten spikes on his shell, two on his tail, and he wore spiked rings on his arms, shoulders, and neck. He was known for his bad temper and nasty fire breath.

"That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever," Bowser thought out loud, using whatever tiny brain he had. Luigi started shaking in fear. "But only **I **can destroy Mario, so I will help you break him out." Luigi sighed. "What's the plan?"

"We are trying to convince Kuppa to join our team."

"Who's Kuppa?"

"The Japanese version of you."

"…"

"Well?"

Bowser seemed pissed that the Japanese named him Kuppa, so he demanded that Luigi immediately take him to Kuppa. However, Luigi had no idea where Kuppa was, so Bowser punched him. Amazingly, the punch sent him flying over several miles, where Luigi landed on Yoshi, who was on his way to alliance with Kuppa. Yoshi was knocked out, but he served a nice cushion for Luigi. Seeing that he was at Kuppa's castle, Luigi entered to form an alliance with Kuppa. Kuppa looked exactly like Bowser, except he had thirteen spikes on his shell instead of ten. Kuppa readily agreed to joining Luigi, stating something about murdering fish. O.O

Luigi took Kuppa back to Bowser's castle to regroup. Seeing only Yoshi, who seemed a bit flat, Luigi looked around confused for Bowser, until he heard someone screaming bloody murder. After further examination, they discovered that the screaming came from an egg. "Yoshi, did you swallow Bowser and poop him out as an egg?" asked Luigi.

"Yoshi," Yoshi said sheepishly.

Bowser finally broke out of the egg. Upon facing Yoshi, he raged. "Why you stoopid little dinosaur make me a egg so many time I will kill you and eat y-," he was interrupted by Yoshi eggifying him again. Kuppa felt offended that his English counterpart was so weak so he sat in a corner and cried.

"Oh great, my team sucks…" Luigi sighed in defeat.

_Elsewhere…_

"Ohcrapohcrapohcrap, Luigi and Yoshi are hunting me down," Coyefeesh panicked, running around.

It was then he noticed a small round person walking towards. The person was wearing a mask, covering his entire face. Yellow eyes peered through the single hole in the mask. A pair of hands and feet stood out from within the mask, indicating that his face was his whole body. Coyefeesh concluded that this creature was a puffball. The puffball wore a cape behind his…puffball, and carried a golden sword that was twice his length.

"Do you *hic* need help fighting *hic* people?" the puffball said in an exotic accent dizzily, clearly drunk.

Coyefeesh ignored his question. "Who or what are you?"

"Hehe, you're *hic* talking to the *hic* best fighter in *hic* all of Dreamland," the puffball boasted.

"Hahaha, how can a short puffball like you be a-," Coyefeesh noticed that the puffball had disappeared from his spot. Suddenly, he appeared directly in front of Coyefeesh, pointing his sword at Coyefeesh's face. "Gah!"

"Never call me short," the puffball threatened coldly, apparently recovering from his drunken state. "As for your previous question, you may call me Meta Knight, and I heard you need a partner for a double dual, correct?"

"Um…actually I sorta declared war on this guy after he called me weird so I defeated him and sent him to jail, and he said that these two people with funky names will avenge him, so now I need an army to defeat them," Coyefeesh spilled in one breath. "And weren't you just drunk a second ago?"

Meta Knight's eyes turned into a reddish color, showing that he was embarrassed. "It's a side effect of drinking too much root beer." His eyes changed back to the regular yellow. "As for your request, I will help you. I hate people who judge based on physical qualities. It's so prejudiced." Suddenly, he turned to a tree. "We're being spied on."

Meta Knight's cape split in two and turned into wings. He flew up into the tree and swiped it twice with his sword, the Galaxia. A kid with a majorly oversized head fell out and landed harshly next to Coyefeesh. This kid had on a yellow and blue striped shirt, blue jean shorts, and a sideways red baseball cap. He had a backpack on, though it seemed empty. "Hey, what's the big idea?" muttered the kid, getting up in pain.

"Hey, kid, were you spying on us?" asked Coyefeesh.

"The name's Ness," said the kid, grinning. "I was sleeping in that tree when I overheard your conversation with the puffball and woke up. I want to join your army!"

Coyefeesh looked suspicious. _What can a kid even do?_ he thought.

"Well for starters, I have psychic powers that let me create energy blasts and fire," Ness said matter-of –factly.

Coyefeesh nodded. "Yes that could be useful – wait did you just read my mind?"

Ness pointed at his oversized head. "Comes with the psychic."

Coyefeesh looked awestruck. Then he laughed. Then he laughed some more. Then he laughed evilly!

"He's gone crazy!" Ness screamed, shaking Meta Knight. "Save yourself and RUN!" Meta Knight pushed Ness away.

_With this team, I can actually stand a chance-no, I can obliterate Luigi and Yoshi. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!_ thought Coyefeesh.

Meta Knight sighed. "I'm stuck with a bunch of crazy people."

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_Coyefeesh, Meta Knight, Ness  
vs  
Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser, Kuppa_

_Elimainated: None_

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**Author's Notes:** So, that's chapter 1. Please review and tell me what I did good on and what I need to improve on. On the next chapter, the war starts! Someone will betray their team, and someone will join! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

**Coyefeesh vs Mario**

**Author's Notes:** Wow! I actually got three reviews! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I am so happy that my story wasn't ignored that I made chapter 2. Here it is! Read and review, please. As a side note, there is a poll on my profile page, so you can vote for your favorite Smasher. I'm interested to see who is the favorite!

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_**Chapter 2: Luigi's Revenge**_

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Chapter 2

_In front of Bowser's castle…_

An Italian plumber looked out away from the castle into the unknown. His mission was simple: defeat the fish-headed person and break his brother out of jail. He was a bit scared at first, giving the fact that he was about to face off against the very same person that defeated his more experienced brother, but he reminded himself that he had reinforcements to aid him.

"Let's go break Mario out of jail!" Luigi suggested enthusiastically, and after hearing no response, he turned around…and comically sweatdropped. His "reinforcements" were being useless and unproductive as usual. Yoshi was running away from Bowser, who had eggshell pieces stuck on his spikes. Kuppa was still crying in a corner, being emo. Half of Kuppa's and Bowser's minions were comforting Kuppa, while the other half were trying to stop Bowser from chewing Yoshi into a bloody pulp, despite they were five times slower than Bowser, who was five times slower than Yoshi.

Luigi couldn't take it anymore. He was just trying to avenge Mario, but now he had to put up with all of this junk. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi screamed, mentally breaking down. All eyes turned and stared at him. "Why are all of you so USELESS? Ugh, you all make me want to cry (Kuppa: Like me?). Can't you all just cooperate for like ten minutes so we can achieve our goal? Is that too much to ask for?"

Little did Luigi know that his speech sparked something within each one of them. They all seemed to stand taller and look more confident after hearing Luigi. Luigi had reminded them that they were a team, and they must work together to achieve the common goal, even if each of them had different motives. Luigi was surprised to see each of them looking so assertive. Smiling a bit, he regained his composure. "Let's do this," he said, before Yoshi ate Bowser again.

_Somewhere else…_

"Ugh, a just felt a disturbance in this world," Ness remarked. "Something super cheesy just occurred."

_In front of Bowser's castle…_

"I feel offended all of a sudden," Luigi grunted.

_Back to Coyefeesh's group…_

Coyefeesh and Meta Knight decided to ignore Ness's unnecessary remark. They were discussing important matters. Ness felt ignored, so he decided to join the conversation.

"But we don't even know where they're going to be at," Ness heard Coyefeesh say. "They could be anywhere. How are we even going to confront them like this?"

"Well, we could wait for them at the…jail that Mario is being kept in. Wait why did you even send him to jail?" asked Meta Knight.

"Hey, first he insulted me, and then he tried to kill me!"

"Um…didn't you attack first?"

"Meh, I lied to the authorities."

"Why did I even ask?" Meta Knight said, rolling his eyes.

"What are you waiting for, let's go!" Ness suddenly suggested, startling the other two who did not notice him.

_After a long and tedious walk that will not be talked about due to the uneventful happenings involving stepping on goombas that no one even gives a crap about…_

An exhausted-looking Coyefeesh and a seemingly perfectly fine Ness and Meta Knight arrived at a jail-like building. Coyefeesh seemed to be in pain and was panting heavily.

"I'm sure glad that those mushrooms were so weak that I killed them with one PK Flash," Ness said.

"And you couldn't have discovered that before I was run over by a stampede of giant mushrooms?" Coyefeesh questioned incredulously.

"It's your own fault for having slow reaction," Meta Knight said.

"Hey, at least I'm not a Gary Sue!" Coyefeesh exclaimed.

"What?"

"Um, nothing."

The group stopped talking after spotting a whole entire mass of people coming from the east. Upon closer inspection, Coyefeesh recognized the person in the front to be Luigi, since he looked very similar to Mario. Coyefeesh mentally gasped after seeing the apparently infinite army of mushrooms (goombas) and turtles (koopa troopers). Some of them were flying, having wings. They seemed to be following the orders of two giant turtle monsters, who Coyefeesh conjectured were much more dangerous. Standing alongside the monsters was a dinosaur-like creature, who repeatedly said, "Yoshi," over and over again. Coyefeesh thought that Yoshi was pretty stoopid for only being capable of pronouncing one word.

Ness tapped Coyefeesh's shoulder. "Um, you never mentioned that they had a whole army," he chuckled nervously.

"I guess they somehow found out that Coyefeesh sought out reinforcements, so they did too. I am impressed by the vastness of this mob of creatures," Meta Knight admitted. Coyefeesh and Ness couldn't tell if he was legitly surprised, because he had no change of facial expression whatsoever. "Even so, we must continue with our plan and fight."

"But do you think we can we can win?" asked Coyefeesh.

"Only fate will tell," stated Meta Knight simply before charging.

Seeing hostile movements from the small group of three, Kuppa and Bowser ordered their minions to attack. Yoshi also attacked with them, but Luigi ran off to the side and tried to find Mario. Noticing this, Coyefeesh chased after Luigi, thinking that Ness and Meta Knight could handle the others.

They couldn't. Ness spammed his PK Fire attack and managed to create a wall of flames that instantly cooked anyone that came too close to it, but he underestimated Yoshi's jumping skills. Yoshi had tons of training with Mario and Luigi so that he easily leaped over the flames that were burning his comrades to use a Yoshi Bomb on Ness. Ness was knocked to the side, and the flames ceased after losing their source. Hundreds of burnt goombas and koopa troopers lay on the ground. Those with wings who were fortunate enough to be unaffected by the flames were violently slashed by Meta Knight, thus causing them to fall down next to their kin. Seeing that Ness was busy with Yoshi, Meta Knight used Dimensional Cape to teleport next to Bowser and Kuppa, who were still recovering from the PK Fire attack. Meta Knight performed Drill Rush to critically attack both turtle monsters, keeping them down. Then he faced the turtles' minions. Meta Knight put up a good fight, decapitating hundreds more of the minions, before he was pooped on by a flying koopa trooper (called a paratrooper) and put out of commission.

"Hey-a Yoshi, need some help over here!" Luigi yelled from closer to the building. Being weaker than Mario, he was easily being overcome by Coyefeesh. Yoshi tried to go over and aid Luigi, but Ness grabbed him by the tail. "You're not going anywhere. I have unfinished business with you."

Ness knew he had to prevent Yoshi from helping Luigi, so he held on with every bit of strength in his small body and big head. Yoshi struggled to escape and finally managed to knock Ness back with a headbutt smash attack. Ness got up as Yoshi was running towards Luigi. "Oh no you don't," Ness muttered as he took out a baseball bat out of nowhere and homerunned Yoshi with it. However, Ness's attack proved to go against its intended purpose, for the hit brought Yoshi closer to Luigi and Coyefeesh. Knowing that he couldn't catch up to Yoshi in time, he sighed and sat down.

Coyefeesh was getting the upper hand on Luigi when Yoshi grabbed Coyefeesh with his tongue and swallowed him, pooping him out as an egg. Luigi and Yoshi ran to Mario's cell to free him by damaging the bars together.

Ness panicked after witnessing both of his teammates being defeated. He ran to Meta Knight, running over Kuppa and Bowser and in the process leaving the two comically flattened. Ness grabbed Meta Knight and the egg that contained Coyefeesh and retreated.

_Ten minutes later…_

Ness stopped running to take a breath. He ended up collapsing on the floor due to exhaustion. Meta Knight slowly got up. "This stinks. We lost."

Ness looked at the poop on Meta Knight's mask. "Wow, I never thought you would be the jocular type."

"No pun intended," Meta Knight growled.

At this point, Coyefeesh broke out of the egg. "GAH!" Coyefeesh screamed, startling Ness. He looked around a bit. "Did we lose?"

"Yes, but we are mostly unharmed," Meta Knight said.

Suddenly, Ness let out a high-pitched girly scream that caused Coyefeesh to jump and Meta Knight to unsheathe his sword. "Omigosh it's those people again, they want to kill us, you hear that, they want to KILL US! Run!" he screamed after seeing Bowser, who was walking towards them.

Before Ness could make a stoopid move, Meta Knight grabbed the kid by the shirt collar. "Chill, it's just one of the turtle guys. The three of us greatly outmatch him."

The three studied Bowser a bit. The Koopa King had his hands up, indicating that he had come with no harmful intentions. "What do you want?" asked Meta Knight, putting up a fighting stance.

"I want to join your team," Bowser stated. The three were a bit taken back on his simple answer.

Meta Knight narrowed his eyes, and Coyefeesh asked, "Do you have a reason? How do we know you can be trusted?"

Bowser looked serious. "I want revenge on Yoshi for eating me so many times and turning me into an egg."

Coyefeesh felt pity for the turtle, for he had experienced the same torture. However, Coyefeesh could not quite trust Bowser yet.

Ness suddenly spoke. "He's telling the truth." Bowser looked relieved that someone believed him, oblivious to the fact that Ness had read his mind.

Meta Knight nodded. "Then we should accept his request. After all, he could prove to be a valuable asset to the team." He paused. "Speaking of assets, I have a friend who will be joining us shortly. He is a pink puffball named Kirby."

Not long after he had said it, Kirby appeared, holding five apples in each hand. He was indeed a pink puffball, as Meta Knight claimed. He had pink stubby arms and reddish feet. His blue eyes stared dreamily at the apples, apparently wanting to eat them. This fact was confirmed by the drool dripping out of his mouth, flowing next to his ovallish red cheeks. He opened his mouth to three-fourths of his body size and sucked all ten apples in his body. Coyefeesh, Ness and Bowser watched amazed as Kirby swallowed, looking happy. "Everyone, meet Kirby," Meta Knight introduced.

"Poyo!" said Kirby, waving happily.

Coyefeesh, Ness and Bowser seemed to have fainted after witnessing Kirby's sucking powers. The two puffballs sweatdropped.

"Poyo?"

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_Coyefeesh, Meta Knight, Ness, Bowser, Kirby  
__vs  
__Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Kuppa__  
_

_Eliminated: None_

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**Author's Notes:** LOL, poor Kirby. I encourage readers to vote and review. Hope you enjoyed, and look forward to chapter 3! P.S. Don't forget to tell all of your friends, family, acquaintances, enemies, etc. about this Fic!


	3. Chapter 3

**Coyefeesh vs Mario**

**Author's Notes:** School hasn't even started yet, and it's already affecting my update speed...anyway, I will now be responding to the reviews of my readers. Yay!

To NoneKnowme: Thanks!

To 1000Kangaroos: Thanks! Mewtwo will not be joining, since he is not a Brawl character. However, he will make a brief appearance in this chapter.

To Old Justice: Thank you for the legit review. This is the type of reviews that I like because it gives me the reader's opinions on what was good.

To SuperCyan: What the hell? I don't know you, go away, stalker.

To Guest: Uh...maybe?

To Old Justice (again): I'm glad you think the last chapter was funny. As for your prediction...well, you'll see.

To KoopaTroopa: See if you can't get the foreshadowing.

To brawler: None taken. I appreciate your time in reading this and telling me what I need to improve on. We all need to help each other to become better authors, right? Glad you still liked it!

Well, that's a lot of reviews! I'm excited to see what this new chapter will bring, but as a warning: school starts tomorrow where I live, so updates will slow dramatically. I'm talking about once a month updates here. But be patient, and they will come. Special thanks to Old Justice for sticking with me through both chapters. Enjoy chapter three!

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**_Chapter 3: First Elimination_**

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_ Kuppa's castle…_

"Dammit!" screamed Kuppa loudly. "I didn't even get to murder any fish, curse you!" Luigi and Yoshi covered their ears at Kuppa's loud ranting. Only Mario was tolerant enough to be unaffected.

Kuppa and Mario were introduced to each other by Luigi after Kuppa calmed down. Mario wondered if there was a Japanese version of himself after learning that Kuppa was basically just Bowser's Japanese clone.

"Speaking of Bowser, I thought I saw him with you people. Where'd he go?" asked Mario.

Luigi, Yoshi and Kuppa finally noticed that Bowser was not with them anymore, showing that Mario was smarter than the three.

Suddenly, the four heard a crash coming from near the entrance of the castle. "My castle! #$%!" cried Kuppa as the four raced through the labyrinth hallways in the castle to the entrance, with Kuppa cursing the whole time.

_At the entrance of Kuppa's castle…_

Bowser's minions (or slaves) were becoming suicide bombers as they followed Bowser's orders to throw grenades at Kuppa's castle. These grenades were stolen from a top-secret organization called FOXHOUND. The grenades were meant to be thrown by a person with greater strength, so the minions kept throwing the grenades right in front of them, thus exploding themselves. Even so, the castle was slowly succumbing to the explosions.

For some reason, the group of five plus a thousand minions heard loud profanity coming from the depths of the castle. Seconds later, the front wall completely collapsed, revealing an angry Kuppa and his militia of minions. "RAUGHHHHHHHHH!" Kuppa roared, pissed. No, wait, that was an understatement.

"YOU DESTROYED MY CASTLE!" Kuppa thundered.

"No, you did, when you charged out at us," Ness countered.

"SHUT UP!" Kuppa screamed. Using his rage as an energy source, Kuppa started shining and transformed into Giga Kuppa (Bowser: Hey, that's totally **my** move!). "I will fry all of you and the traitorous English clone of me!" he yelled, releasing a stream of flames.

"You're the clone here!" Bowser complained, rolling away to avoid the fire.

"I said SHUT UP!" Kuppa screamed. He jumped up and used a…Bowser Bomb on Bowser.

"That's so cheap, using **my** move!" Bowser complained before he was sat on by Kuppa, who he couldn't escape from due to being too slow. Thus, Bowser was knocked out in one move.

Due to their leader being defeated, Bowser's minions ran around aimlessly, panicking. This action proved to be helpful to Coyefeesh's team, because they pushed Giga Kuppa back. Giga Kuppa became quite pissed that he couldn't attack the fish-head, so he used Shell Spin to push all of them away. He dashed to Coyefeesh, charging a Horn Bash. Unfortunately for Kuppa, his Giga Kuppa ended right at that moment, causing him to lose the chance to attack Coyefeesh. Kirby used this chance to use Kirby Tail (Wait, Kirby has a tail?) to attack Kuppa. Kuppa flinched, allowing Kirby to score multiple hits with Vulcan Jab. He ended the combo with a fully-charged Air Cutter, launching Kuppa into the air. This enabled Meta Knight to fly up and use a three-combo Overhead Slash. Kuppa fell on the ground, on the verge of being knocked out.

Seeing that their comrade was being handed to him, Luigi and Yoshi tried to help Kuppa, only to be stopped by Ness. Luigi used Fireball at Ness four times, but Ness used PSI Magnet to absorb the attacks. This also minorly healed his damage from the earlier battle. Ness then used PK Thunder to attack Luigi, but Luigi charged through the attack with Green Missile, which Ness sidestepped. This left him open to Yoshi, who Tail Swatted Ness and then used Noggin Flail on his head. Ness was flung upwards with a headache. Ness saw Yoshi charging another Noggin Flail. Apparently dinosaurs have very hard heads. Not wanting to suffer more brain damage (pun intended), Ness timed a downwards Needle Kick. This attack collided with Yoshi's head, doing critical damage to Yoshi, due to the fact that he was on the ground and was bounced repeatedly from Ness's attack and the floor. When Ness landed and stopped the attack, Yoshi was sent flying and hit Luigi in the gut. Luigi was dazed from the unexpected impact, while Yoshi just seemed severely weakened.

Kuppa was not doing very well against the two puffballs, and Luigi and Yoshi seemed to be failing against one big-headed kid. The only one on the other team who seemed to be struggling was Coyefeesh, who was fighting all of Kuppa's minions at once. Mario thought it was time for him to help out someone, but he couldn't decide if he wanted to reinforce his team or destroy Coyefeesh. He finally chose to help out his brother. But when he reached the battle, Luigi and Yoshi were both too weak to fight. Mario told them to take a break. He turned to Ness and declared war.

Meanwhile, Coyefeesh needed a plan to get rid of all of these minions. He looked around, hoping that something would pop up in his mind. He spotted some Koopa Troopas running towards him (as fast as turtles could run). It was then that he formulated an idea.

Mario was beating Ness quite badly, since Ness was low on energy. _Two more shots and he'll be knocked out,_ Mario thought. But as he charged a Meteor Smash, someone (cheaply) hit him from behind. It was Coyefeesh. Mario looked and found all of Kuppa's minions either knocked out or unable to battle, and facepalmed at their uselessness.

_Begin flashback…_

Coyefeesh formulated an idea to get rid of all of the minions. He used Spit on a Koopa Troopa, knocking it out (weak). He threw the Koopa Troopa's shell at the other Koopa Troopas, which in turn turned them into shells, slamming into minions. Soon, they were all defeated. Coyefeesh then summoned a wave (similar to Squirtle's Surf) and destroyed the flying minions.

_End of flashback_

It was then that Meta Knight and Kirby spammed Mario with Lightning Slash and Vulcan Punch, respectively. Kuppa lay knocked out somewhere.

_Begin flashback…_

Meta Knight and Kirby were beating up Kuppa.

Kuppa raised a finger to pause the fight. "You puffballs are too fast for poor old slow fat me, so, bleh," said Kuppa getting knocked out.

"That was absolutely ridiculous," said Meta Knight.

"Poyo," Kirby said happily.

_End of flashback_

Seeing that he was outnumbered and outmatched, Mario put his hands up, surrendering. He knew when to quit. Coyefeesh was cheap so he wanted to hit Mario when he surrendered, but he was stopped by those who had some sense of honor, namely everyone else.

"Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi need punishment for what they have done to me!" yelled Coyefeesh. "However, jail cannot hold them, so I need a better solution."

"They didn't really do anything to you…," Meta Knight pointed out, dragging an unconscious Bowser.

"Poyo!" Ness and Kirby agreed. Wait, why did Ness say poyo?

"So what? I don't like them, so I will send them to…Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends!" said Coyefeesh.

"…But we're not imaginary," said Mario.

"Too bad, you are now," said Coyefeesh.

Thus, Mario, Luigi and Yoshi were sent to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

_At Foster's Home…_

"Hey, have three free imaginary people! For free!" said Coyefeesh to Foster.

"Thanks!" exclaimed Foster.

"Now that that's over with, we should totally consider building a base," suggested Meta Knight.

"Yeeaaah…no," said Coyefeesh lazily.

"Whatever, your loss," said Meta Knight, walking away.

_At Kuppa's castle…_

"Hey, you, wake up."

Kuppa opened his eyes. "Aw, screw it, I got defeated," he said. He was promptly grabbed by the neck and lifted harshly. Kuppa barely took a glance at his attacker before being choked.

This person was an old man appearing to be in his fifties. He wore completely gray and black. Above his eyes was a gray headband, covering some of his messy brown hair. His face was battle-worn, showing traces of previous battle wounds. Random facial hair caused his average appearance to seem creepier. Overall, he looked like a serious soldier who liked to get down to business.

Which is exactly what he did.

"These explosion damages, they looked like they were caused by my grenades. Now a couple of days ago, my grenades were stolen. Suspicious, isn't it?" he asked.

"I don't know anything, I swear!" Kuppa managed to gasp out.

"Fine, if you don't tell…," the old guy tightened his grip.

Kuppa was just about to faint. He could not take a breath. He felt helpless and weak. This was probably his last few minutes of his life. He regretted not defeating Japanese Mario enough times. He vision started to become dark…

The old man's eyes widened when he saw a bright light engulfing his victim. The light pushed the man back and temporary blinded him. When he could see clearly again, Kuppa was gone.

**Kuppa has been eliminated.**

The man grunted. "I wasn't really going to kill him; I just wanted him to spill out some information. The Colonel is gonna have me killed if I can't get those grenades back. They are top secret, after all."

A random Goomba holding a grenade heard this and panicked. It tried to run away but was spotted by the old man. "Lord Bowser, help!" it managed to cry out before it was violently kicked away by the old man, and also exploded by the grenade.

The old man narrowed his eyes. One word had gotten his attention. "Bowser…"

_Somewhere near…_

"YES I GOT YOU PIKACHU I FINALLY GOT YOU!" yelled a kid.

This was no normal kid. This was a Pokémon trainer. All Pokémon trainers share a common goal: to catch all the Pokémon in the world. This trainer in particular had a red and white coat and jeans. He wore a red and white cap over his messy brown hair, and had similar colored eyes. This nose was a curved line, as if he was drawn by someone and that person did not take time to put detail in his nose. Like Ness, he wore a stoopidly empty backpack. His name was…Red.

Immediately, all of his Pokémon popped out of their red and white colored Pokéballs (that were like a prison of some sorts) and laughed hysterically. After all, Red is a pretty stoopid and unoriginal name. In fact, Red is a name that is only a name when people run out of ideas for names to use.

"Hey!"

His Pokémon varied greatly from each other. There was Squirtle, a blue-skinned turtle that enjoyed blowing bubbles. Next there was Ivysaur, a green dinosaur thing with a plant on its back. Also there was Charizard, who was an orange dragon that spits fire everywhere. Not to forget his two newly caught Pokémon, Jigglypuff, a pink puffball whose singing is so bad people actually fall asleep, and Pikachu, a yellow rat with electricity-producing red cheeks.

Red had recently spotted a Pokémon that he did not recognize. This Pokémon was a humanoid fox-like creature with blue, black and yellow fur. It had spikes on its arms and chest. It had a line of red fur over its red eyes, and black appendages on the back of its head. Red wanted this Pokémon sooooo bad, since it was unknown and probably rare. However, it beat the crap out of his Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard, and that's when Red decided to catch Jigglypuff and Pikachu to increase his chances of catching this legendary Pokémon.

A sudden appearance of something snapped him out of his flashback. Upon closer inspection, the something was a Pokémon, and it was one that Red actually recognized. It was the legendary Mewtwo. "HOLYCRAP!" screamed Red.

Mewtwo heard Red scream. Mewtwo hated humans and thought they should all be killed for enslaving his fellow Pokémon. Without a moment's thought, Mewtwo used Psychic to fling away Red and all of his "corrupted humanized Pokémon."

"Owww," Red complained, rubbing his eyes. He stood up, and the first thing he noticed was a fish-headed person.

"AHHHHH! It's an offspring of a Magicarp and a human! The world is ending!" yelled Red, running around in panic mode.

"What?" said Coyefeesh.

* * *

_Coyefeesh, Meta Knight, Ness, Bowser, Kirby  
vs  
Mario, Luigi, Yoshi_

_Elimainated: Kuppa_

* * *

**Author's Notes:** So an old man appears, Kuppa is eliminated, and Pokémon appear. This has become a life-and-death battle! BTW, Kuppa is NOT dead. Don't forget about the poll on my profile page!


End file.
